                      Star Trek: The Next Generation
                            Synopsis Parodies

    Some episodes you WON'T be seeing on ST:TNG ...

"Time's Crossbow" -
  A series of bizarre occurences is touched off when Commander Riker's beard
is found buried under San Francisco with other artifacts proving it has been
there since Tuesday lunch.

"We'll Always Have Parrots" -
Picard becomes reacquainted with an old friend with whom he almost opened a
pet shop."

"The Best of Both Worfs" -
After their security chief is kidnapped and turned into a cyborg, the
Enterprise crew recover him.  However, once realizing he's a whole lot less
bloodthirsty as a cyborg, they decide to keep him that way.

"Who Watches the Royale?" -
Star Trek producers wonder if this episode was really as pointless as they
thought while filming it.

"The Coffee Mate" -
Picard finds someone he'd rather have breakfast with than Bev.  Data invents a
new form of milk substitute that turns out to be a lifeform, or a time
traveller, or Tasha Yar's daughter, or something like that.

"The Most Troys" - <misspelling intentional>
An interstellar trader kidnaps Deanna to put her in his collection.

"The Next Raise" -
The producers desperately search for a way to continue making episodes without
the exobitant cost of paying the cast.  (cf. "Shades of Gray")

"Suddenly Hunan" -
The Enterprise computer goes haywire, but the only symptom is that the
replicators start putting too many hot spices in the food.

"Have a Life" -
A group of Trek fans come to the Enterprise to insist that they already have
lives and are happy and suggest that all those idiots that get so holier than
thou should examine their own lives before casting aspersions.



"Just Ice" -
While down on a newly discovered planet, Acting Ensign Wes Crusher gets in
trouble with the law while ordering a cold drink.

"Skin of Offal" -
Troi is captured by a creature formed of the garbage left on a planet by a
highly advanced race.  Before the creature will release her, Picard must
promise to recycle it.

"Where Silence has Geese" -
The Enterprise crew discover a planet dominated by mute, telepathic avians.

"Peek Performance" -
Wesley gets caught sneaking into Deanna's chambers at night.  He claims he's
considering a new career as a televangelist.

"The Ensigns on Parade" -
The Next Generation producers somehow engineer an episode where they manage to
get every junior officer on the Enterprise into one show.

"A Matter of the Perspective on Timely Honour" -
A script writer gets confused by a bunch of episodes with similar titles and
ends up writing an episode that makes no sense in the end.  Surprisingly, no
one notices the difference.

"Remember Mu" -
Data almost gets fired when he is expected to work out an extremely intense
calculation and he forgets to account for friction.

"Galaxy's Father's Uncle's Former Roommate" -
A space born alien, which the Enterprise encounters, entirely fails to show
any interest whatsoever in the ship or its crew.

"The Nth Time" -
Reg Barclay shows up again, now that the writers have come up with a new
neurosis for him to suffer from.

"The Bonehead" -
A visiting Admiral puts Riker on trial for being an incompetant idiot after he
totally mishandles yet another away team, ignoring advice from anyone willing
to give it.



"Q Tip" - 
Q takes Riker on a trip through time designed to teach him not to stick things
in his ears.

"The 'Ole Q Ball" - 
Q decides to emulate his favourite Human ... With the help of a straight
razor.

"Q-neiform" - 
The Enterprise crew travels back in time to discover the origins of the
writing on an ancient Persia artifact, only to conclude that in says, 'Q was
here.'

"Q-ticle" - 
Q decides to take on a female form to experience a uniquely Human experience
...  Breaking a fingernail.  (Stars Arleen Sorkin)

"Q-bism" - 
After becoming interested in abstract art, Q is depressed when he asks Data's
opinion of his first essay.

"Sub Q-taneous" - 
Q _literally_ gets under Picard's skin.

"Q-rioser and Q-rioser" - 
The Enterprise crew take a trip through the looking glass, so to speak.  Q
takes a sudden interest in hat making.

"Thank Q, Very Much" - 
In his efforts to be _helpful_, Q goes _just_ a little overboard.  Nuff said.

"Q-linary Delights" - 
Q proves once again that if he has any taste at all, it's all in his mouth.

"Hail Q the Chief" - 
Q asks Picard again if he can become a member of the crew.  Picard assigns him
as transporter chief.

"A-Q-mulation" - 
Q resolves to change his ways when he finds all his little pranks are catching
up to him.

